In the mean time.

I knew that i can't love another person in my life. One just can't get the feeling again. I still can't forget the first day i saw her in that pink dress. OMG. Ok ok i don't want to start again. But in the mean time i came across a few girls. Pure lust it was. The first one was Miss R. My college junior to me gets down at my stop, very very silent, never talks to anyone but she talks to me. I went and introduced and was gradually growing comfortable. She even came to my house. I finally decided and proposed. Again i say pure lust. Not even one percent of love. No nervousness nothing. She said that her parents have to agree. I knew if i had carried on i could have got her a gf. But said that we'll be in open relationship and not get committed. Then Miss K. She is near my house. Again talks only to me. I knew she was interested in me. Then Miss P. We went to coffee day. She asked what type of girl i liked. I described (Meghna). She said that she's similar to that but i didn't mind. She actually came close to proposing when i said that love and is not possible and we'll just have fun. Then Miss S, as she is interested in fashion i talked a lot of shit about it even though i didn't know abcd of fashion. She was impressed. Again i could have got her but didn't proceed. I know what i'm talking is idiotic but the point is i could not get her out of my mind. All i could do is flirt at the maximum. Other than that i can't proceed. It's her. It is written.

The Second birthday

It was her second birthday after knowing her. Bought my first Cell phone that day. See this is how i want to forget her. I didn't know that it's impossible to forget her then. I wished her, mailed. She Said Thanks, Juku Thanks. I love it when she speaks Sourashtra. She sounds really innocent when she speaks Sourashtra. Then i think the next day she said a new word ' mental virginity '. Each time i talk to her i learn something new. Ha ha. When we were chatting she said that she hugged his ex bf. Don't know from where this topic came. But felt like hot Shit. Then i said that i don't want to talk to her and blah blah. She said that anything could happen in the mean time. I didn't take all those things seriously and big good bye. A Final bye. Her reaction for it was a ' ha ha Final bye '. It was sarcastic i knew but well sketched. She asked my phone number then, citing that she's coming to chennai and would call me but i behaved like an idiot and din give her my number thinking that it will never happen. Whether she loves me or not i should have tried like reel Vikram. That's what she said too. That's it. End of the story.

Comeback of sorts...

On oct 21 before my practical exam i came online to check mail. A big surprise was waiting for me. She came. OMG my joy knew no bounds. I was way too happy. My heart jumped an inch up but i didn't show anything. She said that she saw Varanam Ayiram and it reminded me. I don't know whether it's the case or Divya asked her to talk to me. But was very very happy. She was extremely sweet to me that day. But i behaved like an asshole, i gave one word reply to her citing that i have exam the next day. But she didn't lose her temper. She wished me all the best. I knew i'm going to rock in the exams. She's my lucky charm. I dont worry about anyone when she is with me. Feels great
as if i've conquered the whole world. She said 'Sorry' a lot of times that day. I didn't mind. I was such a loser that day. A big SORRY Meghna. Don't know why the hell i behaved like this. Shit. Also talked with her the next day. She pinged me again. Feels like heaven when she comes and talks to me. But i didn't tell what i was feeling. Avoided her.

The days after it....

The days after it weren't really sad and all. Was missing something surely but made myself busy. Tried very hard not to think about her. Even if her thoughts came i rubbished it. Didn't write much of diary those days. I boozed, smoked. Kind off felt free. Doesn't mean i became addict and all. Smoked some 7 times and boozed 5 times i think. Just wanted to try it. I've quit everything now. I don even drink coffee nowadays. Love to live in extreme. But i'm not going to that extreme again. I went to symposiums, read books saw movies. Did whatever i can to get out of her thoughts. All was in Vain though. She came again and again in my dreams. Damn these dreams. Had to deal all these till OCT 14th.

My call, the dissapoinment and the booze after it.

Well i know the title sounds like some italian cult masterpiece. Came out of nowhere. Ok lets leave that. About the day. March 26 friday. My dads birthday. Next day to Arun's birthday. We planned to booze. I mean beer. We were all excited. As usual I did the planning part. Was so thoroughly planned. So a perfect setting for what was about to happen.

I read the script again and again. Saw VA scenes, the ones with Surya and Sameera. Did top up for RS 50 in Arun's cell. Then Vinayakar temple pond, that's were i called her. Thought it was perfect setting because Vinayakar is her favorite god. Mere coincidence though. I made the call. My heart was pumping. She attended the call. I blabbered what was there in the script. She didn't understand or didn't like that scholarship part. She asked, " so it's a joke". I know i had lost but didn't give up, after all i had prepared for a week. Somehow completed the script.

Then went home happily though i haven't done well. Then she CALLED. The final call. She said, " What you did was wrong, don't ever do that again, do u get that?". I liked that "do you get that" part. Was so sexy. Instead of feeling for it those words circled around me. I know i'm mad.

I showed her picture to Rajendran and Arun. Both didn't like her. They said that i'll get a much better girl. Don't know what does that mean. I don't think anyone is better than her. I won't get that feeling with anyone. They tried to console me by saying she didn't look good. Don't know whether that's true or not. Whatever she's my girl. They were so worried and were about to cancel the booze party but didn't.

We then went to the bar where all were worried that i would drink so much and fall off and dance for Anjale. But all those didn't happen. Drank only half a glass of beer. It was so bad. Yucky. Then smoked a cigarette. Nothing happened. But was so happy that i've achieved something. I like to try new things. Always.

The 'call' script

I was to surprise her as Vinoo said and prepared a script which is below.

Hello may i talk to miss ........ ...... please.
Good evening madam. I'm control officer ( she calls me like that ) of Bharat ( to let her know the call is from India ) institute of Management Studies, and i'm happy to announce that our have got a scholarship based on your high school marks (she's a high school topper). You can collect it via your friends or relatives, all that they have to do is to bring in your school ID card or else you could give your address we will post it madam. Ha ha. ( if she had identified it as me i would have said ' so u have it' or else 'guess who?') I thought of surprising you as you did to me. Ya this is Vikram. So howz you howz college going. Howz m......(her friend) You would have had a busy day no. violin classes. Presentation. What about that Indira Gandhi Speech. You finished. K All the best.

"Some two lines before". I'm in a PCO near my friends house so have to leave in a few minutes. Ohh he has come (not reality). K when shall i call you next ( this one Vinoo said )

Vinoo asked me to call from PCO as i've to surprise her. Arun asked me to message her and then call so that she could make herself free. But i went with Vinoo
I thought of calling her on march 22 but no ISD booth had closed rooms so did on march 26th, on my dads birthday

Friends reaction

When i said this to Arun he asked me to try but said that she isn't very beautiful and there will be a lot of girls like that in Spencers. I know that's a lie but didn't mind it.

Raje didn't have any great thing to say.

Lokesh just wanted me to be careful and check whether she really exists.

Vinoo is what the highlight. He's the playboy of our class and when i said about her he fell in my legs saying," machi naan chumma ingae thaan figurungla correct pannitu irukaen nee overseasae...... nee engayo poitae da, inimae nee thaan guru". As if i've got her

As i said that she had called me he said that she had interest on me and asked me to call. I knew that's not the correct time to do so. But prepared myself to call. He wanted me to surprise her.