The 'call' script

I was to surprise her as Vinoo said and prepared a script which is below.

Hello may i talk to miss ........ ...... please.
Good evening madam. I'm control officer ( she calls me like that ) of Bharat ( to let her know the call is from India ) institute of Management Studies, and i'm happy to announce that our have got a scholarship based on your high school marks (she's a high school topper). You can collect it via your friends or relatives, all that they have to do is to bring in your school ID card or else you could give your address we will post it madam. Ha ha. ( if she had identified it as me i would have said ' so u have it' or else 'guess who?') I thought of surprising you as you did to me. Ya this is Vikram. So howz you howz college going. Howz m......(her friend) You would have had a busy day no. violin classes. Presentation. What about that Indira Gandhi Speech. You finished. K All the best.

"Some two lines before". I'm in a PCO near my friends house so have to leave in a few minutes. Ohh he has come (not reality). K when shall i call you next ( this one Vinoo said )

Vinoo asked me to call from PCO as i've to surprise her. Arun asked me to message her and then call so that she could make herself free. But i went with Vinoo
I thought of calling her on march 22 but no ISD booth had closed rooms so did on march 26th, on my dads birthday

Friends reaction

When i said this to Arun he asked me to try but said that she isn't very beautiful and there will be a lot of girls like that in Spencers. I know that's a lie but didn't mind it.

Raje didn't have any great thing to say.

Lokesh just wanted me to be careful and check whether she really exists.

Vinoo is what the highlight. He's the playboy of our class and when i said about her he fell in my legs saying," machi naan chumma ingae thaan figurungla correct pannitu irukaen nee overseasae...... nee engayo poitae da, inimae nee thaan guru". As if i've got her

As i said that she had called me he said that she had interest on me and asked me to call. I knew that's not the correct time to do so. But prepared myself to call. He wanted me to surprise her.

The post match conference

Was blabbering about the call for quite some time. Then had some weird thoughts of her appearing online to me. Wasn't able to chat. When asked about his facebook account she said that she's very active there and has put a lot of photos and i'll suffocate. But i sent a request she had accepted it to check my stuffs. As i created account to only be in touch with her had nothing in it. She then rejected and i felt dejected. This happens every fucking time.

Happiest day in my life

I can't forget even a single moment of that day. Was very elated. I didn't think even i could behave like this. March 8 eve 4:40 i guess i had a nap and got up. Dad took a call which got caught. I saw the number it was different started with 65 but she calling me and all was highly impossible so didn't think that way. Then again the call came. I attended. There was silence for first 2,3 seconds. I could hear my heart beating. She asked, " may i talk to Vikram ". I asked, " Who is this ". I knew it was her. My whole body was shivering. I was so excited. My BP would have shot up to a great extent. She said," guess who?". I knew its her but didn't say. She said it's Meghna(Name changed). Oh the way i behaved in the street. laughing and jumping. I can't get that moment again. I bet if this scene would have been in a movie then it would have been the best boy blushing scene. I wasn't like me at all. I couldn't understand what she was talking i was so excited. I'm as excited as that day typing this one. I talked in sowrashtra english but just words weren't coming out of my mouth. I asked her whether i can note down her no. She was skeptical but i did note it down. I messaged all my close friends about it. Omg what a moment it was.

The next day i just couldn't sit in the bus nor study for the exam i was just so excited. Raje told that he could see that. I told my friends. Unga alunga ellam ena da aminjikrai, tambaramla irunthu thaan phone panuvanga. Enaku Singaporela irunthu phone vanthuruku, Singapore machi Singapore. They just couldn't tolerate me and i couldn't just stop talking about it.

When she came online she said that she called to say sorry and that doesn't mean that she loves me and all and she said i was so excited. But i really didn't mind. She called. That's enough. If given a time machine i'll go to that day only and keep on going to that day.

Dates to remember

After the rejection we just maintained hi bye relation. No long chats.
JAN 21: Jus some 10 min talk she had mood off
JAN 29: Said that she's gonna come to chennai at year end
JAN 31: Told her story to Arun
FEB 3: Again some 10 min talk
FEB 21: Boring day fought with her, she said talking to me was just a time pass so got pissed off
FEB 28: I asked for her no. She didn't give. I gave all my family members nos. She also said about her ex boyfriend. I've written about all these in my diary. One thing to quote here, " I'm missing her more than she misses him, Hope she comes to know of it one day".
MAR 1: Again a hi bye
MAR 2: I asked her to send a photo, she asked, " why should i?". I got angry and closed the window. Well, thats all i could do. I can't go and scold her.
MAR 6: One of the very few days that she messages me first, liked my yahoo status, it read," If you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk crawl. Whatever you do reach the target". She liked this catch phrase. I have this in my first page of 2010 diary. She finally said that she doesn't want me to love her and went off. I thought thats the end.

The rejection

I appeared offline for the first time on jan 13 because was afraid to talk to her. Then on jan 14 omg can't forget the pic the green sleeveless salwar. i don't want to put 'sleevless' but couldn't avoid. Sorry. Omg omg. She was lovely. That too with a nice smiley face. I just went off. "play mounam pesiyathae bgm again". But that lasted for just some moments. I asked about the letter. She said it's not possible. She said various reasons for it but i was not in a state to listen all this. My heart broke as soon as she rejected. I didn't think that i'll ever fall in love and that too will lose my love. WTF. I wrote down all my worries in my diary. I wrote for some 2 to 3 pages of my grief. If people read those pages they will never ever scold me again. Such is the intensity there.

The love letter

Hi Sameera,

I'm starting this one actually with my hands trembling and i'm sure that i haven't been this nervous before. By now you would have guessed what it is going to be. Yes that is what it is. Read it fully even if you feel boring or find this one comical.

I don't know how i became this brave but i can't leave you for someone. It's going to be now or never.

As i have not been involved in writing love letter before this mail may sound strange. And this letter is largely inspired from Varanam Ayiram.

Let me start. The first time i saw you, you made me suffocate. Ya you made me search for Oxygen. I would have proposed to you on the day i saw your profile itself. But you would have asked like Sameera, "how you decide on one day itself?". So i avoided it. I thought of proposing you on June 3 ie my birthday,because you would have thought of something before saying 'NO'. But i can't wait till then because pretty girls usually cannot be single for a long time. Boys don't leave you. And i don't think that i can leave you for some other.

I thought you would have guessed while we are chatting but you didn't or i don't know whether you purposely avoided.

Ya i know that i'm not that handsome like Surya and you are thousand times better than Sameera. But something says that you are going to be my girl. But i'll always remember true to you, i don't lie and above all i will always keep you with a smile like a princess.

I would have proposed to you before itself but was never in a mood to lose you by making sudden moves.

There was actaully many times when i could have proposed like when you asked, "we have Sameera in this story but no Surya" and that 'HER' incident.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=9GvdtJ4RDeE&eurl=http://www.orkut.co.in/FavoriteVideos.aspx?uid=16099048347918584826&na=3&nst=6&nid=dWlkXzMxODUzMTY1fGZ0X3ZpZCx

But leave that, let me do it finally as i said inspired from VA,

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=v50j7cJLh_g&eurl=http://www.orkut.co.in/FavoriteVideos.aspx?uid=16099048347918584826&na=3&nst=6&nid=dWlkXzMxODUzMTY1fGZ0X3ZpZCx

"Hi Meghna (name changed),
I'm Vikram, naan idha solliye aghonum
nee avalavo alaghu, inga evanum indha alagha oru..
ivalavu alagha partirika mattanga and I'm in love with you".

And can i be your 'WHERE IS HE' man.

If yes just send me an offline msg and type in that Yes as big as you can. Because i'm going be on cloud nine, ten, eleven no infinity if your reply is going to be positive. And if the reply is going to be negative type 'no' as small as you can because this is going to be my worst defeat even though i have faced many failures. But please don't go without replying.

Ya i said that i don't like friends becoming lovers concept(do you remember unnale unnale talk). You take your previous chat messages and see i have never addressed you as friend because i was in love with you since then

Hope to get a positive reply soon. Bye and i love you.

P.S.: Those two links are scenes from Varanam ayiram that no longer exist. Here's the present one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKCus3nALE8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS6AAHzO87g&feature=related

Cut to jan 12

I have always believed that 3 and 8 are my lucky numbers. After that Arun's talk i got confused. I didn't know i really love her or its just an infatuation. I knew its love deep inside my heart but couldn't let it out. I was like VTV Jessi but boys shouldn't be like this. But i'm trying to be true here. That day i talked with her. Again one of our best conversations. I said," i initially had a huge crush on you now its more like a friend". She said she has come across like this before and its not a problem. I said i had even written a love letter. She wanted me to show that, i showed. She said she loved the letter. WTF all my thoughts went awry i should have sent the letter before itself. Said that i love her then. But no use. No girl wants a coward. I should have been brave by sending it then. This is my FIRST BIG MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. She is not the person who gets cheated by high profile English, richness r blah blah. She can read the heart out and my letter was genuine. I know it didn't have a great style or vocabulary but it was right from my heart. So i think she liked it. But couldn't she have understood that i have inferiority complex when talking to her. I was so happy that day i thought that she would accept my proposal. She said that i'm confused so she wanted me to talk about this some other day. So i went offline. But was very very glad that day.

The next working day

I went to college with high spirits as if i had taken one big decision of my life. I pretended to do so. Was faking it. Against what deep inside my heart said. I said all this story to Arun. That was the incident that changed the entire thing. He had earlier said that she isn't such a beauty. I hated it when he said. Usually i like when people say that this girl isn't beautiful because i feel satisfied as i couldn't get the girl. But now he said, " i can't understand you, for so many days you were telling tons and tons of stories about her and because of this single picture u hate her, k it's your life you take decision" I was deep in thought for a moment. But brushed him aside and continued talking to her like a friend. I was faking myself my inner self all these days.

NOTE AGAIN: Please please don't think my love is skin deep. My initial attraction towards you might have been because of you good looks but after that its only your inner self. I don't know how to say this in English, " Naan un kanna thandi pathathilla nenachathilla"

DEC 31 the D-Day

It was the day i was waiting for. My sixth semester had started. I was to propose that day. My parents and sister had gone to temple. So prepared it. Was waiting to send it. She came online then, had changed her display picture. I was devastated she looked like a Chinese in that picture. So i didn't propose. Felt happy that i've taken one of the best decisions of my life.
The point is i didn't propose that day because of my goddamn inferiority complex. That i came to know now only. How could a person you love become different all of a sudden in a single pic. No chance right. And she had made some effect in that photo too. I wasted an opportunity. Bloody bastard i'm. Also i was afraid of getting rejected. I didn't have confidence in me nor my letter anything in that case. Shit

NOTE: I know you won't be reading this but if at all you read. This is how i felt. I'm trying to be true here.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is how she laughs, there will be no gap between one ha and the other. Have to work so hard to get this from her. Feels great when she laughs for my joke. The one day i can't forget is when i said i sat in red chillies and went loo in rice as a kid. That was the day when she laughed the most. Was very happy. The first one actually didn't happen at all, the situation was created by me. Only the second one had happened. Omg how great it feels if she laughs. * play vizhi moode *. And i also like it when she scolds other people. She usually tells that all her sowrashtra friends are A1 flirts and i'm not. I don't know whether its a congratulatory message or a mockery. Anyways i felt happy that she likes my character.

Clash of the titans

After hearing 'sudum nilavu' song, my dad said," if in love everything goes wrong eh?". I thought it was a silly comment but she liked it. She said that my dad is lenient and she can't discuss these things with her parents. She said she would have loved to have siblings so that she can discuss these things. Well, i don't discuss these things with my sister. She said she needs a big brother so that she feels secured. Thank god she doesn't have any siblings. I have to impress them too. She likes people looking at her but doesn't say that. Once said that everyone were staring at her in theatre and another time her mother was scolding someone looking at her. I like it when she lies about these things. Yes she is beautiful and everybody tend to see her. But she pretends as if she doesn't want to be seen. I know that's a lie but its cute. " kulu kulu poigal soli enai velvai athu therinthum kooda anbae manam athayae thaan ethirpartkum ". This again is my problem i can't lie.
And about the title its because we talked about our dads. His dad seemed to be a short tempered person. He loves cricket. Now that's one hell off an advantage to impress him.

Making of -The love letter

I started preparing for this about 20 days before executing it. Yes, at first i thought of proposing on 31st Dec 2009 so that we would have got close. If it didn't succeed then i thought of dropping and forgetting her ( note that probability is zero for that, to forget her). Then thought of preponing it to JUNE 3 my birthday, which again i thought is so late. Finally fixed the date. DECEMBER 31st 2008 midnight. The time to launch my rocket (love letter). So started thinking about it as soon as my arrear exam got over on December 5. I thought and thought and thought. Many confusions, many sudden thoughts, started liking romantic movies all of a sudden, everything around me seemed to be beautiful, the garbage, the street dog it's shit everything. HUH. It was great. Those days were awesome. 'sumayalla baram sugam thanamma'. This one was tougher than University exams.

"Oly Sameer"

Again one of her status messages. Some north indian guy had come to her college at that time. His name was Sameer. She said he was so handsome. Fuck that bastard. I don't like her talking about boys. That was the first time i felt possessive but i'm not possessive as i don't have any problem with her talking to anybody. Because i believe in her. Once she becomes mine i perfectly have no restrictions. But she hasn't become mine. And girls like guys who are possesive or protective. I'm not like that. I'm social. I want my soul mate to be like a friend who could share everything with me. Similar to kana kandaen Srikanth and Meera Jasmine. She said every time that Sameer crosses her she looks at him. I feel like punching him in his face. Also she said about her ex-lover. Thank god he is ex. Seems that he is very cool, rich, handsome moron. He's a sowrastrian too. Clever girl. She is. But she said that their relationship ended. I was so happy. That guy is short tempered like her father, yes that's what she said. Thank god i'm not short tempered. Scored the first run. Yipeee

"Where is he"

This was her status message some time during december. When i quizzed about it she said she want's someone who could love her like Suriya did to Sameera. She want's someone to love her so much, more than her dad and mom. Mam am i visible to you.....
I could have just said that i love her so much. But couldn't, i was tongue tied. Or hand striken. Huh. But she said its not possible for someone to love her more than her parents. I said it's possible and you'll get one. But i didn't put my name forward then. Then she asked what type of girl i want. I said the usual thing. Fair, straight hair, 5 inches shorter than me so that i could put a hand around her shoulder and walk, it would be romantic. I knew that she is 5 inches shorter than me. 166 cm i guess. It was like describing her. But she didn't like it. She said something very opposite to me. One big opportunity went waste.

The 'HER' incident

Some days after her birthday we were discussing about Unnale unnale. At that time i said i don't like friends becoming lovers concept. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts so couldn't remember what she replied. And i have never addressed her as a friend. That was the intention to open the topic. I don't know till now whether she understood that or not. Ok the next plan was this 'HER' incident. It came all of a sudden. When i was talking to Ramba. She was online to. Whenever she, i mean Meghna is online first preference is to her. Or shall i say only preference. This Ramba bastard was disturbing. Then he went offline. At that instant i purposely typed in Meghnas window, " I'm talking with HER will talk to you later". Then i said i did a mistake by typing in wrong window. Which she didn't find then. But she won't accept it. She'll say that she knew everything. But cute it'll be. She said she is no one special and her talking to me is no big deal. I replied, " You are everything to me and it is a big deal that you are talking to me". The words were right from my heart. Whenever it's right from heart it's so good.

THE BIRTHDAY

Because it was her birthday that day she was in a very happy mood. Loved chatting with her. Time just flies by... I asked her about what all presents she got. She said she got less presents than last year but was very happy. So non sense reason she said for that which i don't remember. She talks philosophy at times which is very irritating. But i can't tell her. That's my problem. I was afraid that she would take me wrong. I didn't want to take a chance. What would i have done if she gone out of my life. This blog would never have existed and i wouldn't have got a better job to do in my final study holidays and a lot more. Then she asked," where is your present". I said, " I don't give present to close ones". Which is true actually but she didn't like that. Then i asked her address to send present. She was cornered. She refused to give address. I knew that i won't get. But i would have sent gift for sure if she had given me the address.

The night before THE BIRTHDAY

I'm such a luck bastard you see. I came to know her just one week before her birthday. It's a great opportunity to impress her. I think i asked her cell no. the day before which she politely refused. Man, she's good at that (refusal). Whatever she does doesn't make me angry. The next day nov 28th. Had a good long chat with her. She was very sweet that day, probably because of her birthday the next day. I didn't ask about it a lot because i wanted to surprise her. at 10.30 i asked whether the clock had struck 12 there. She laughed and said "about to". Then i wished her," Happy birthday Meghna, don study too much enjoy life" n blah blah... She interrupted in the middle. I told," let me finish". She laughed. OMG i can remember everything it's so fresh in my mind. Then for some time she didn't reply, when i asked y, she said that her dad has given her a present. Foreign culture i must say. We don't give presents here within family. At least in my family. Feel kind off awkward. But with friends we do. Ok lets leave those stuff. I was very happy that day. As if she had accepted my proposal.